The mind doodles of Golgotha_tramp

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Trade up or sell out?

I feel super bad as I haven't blogged for a while but things have been pretty hectic over here. I've just been spending a lot of time catching up with someone from my past. I suppose it's really easy to forget your obligations (whether imposed by others or by yourself) when you are having fun.

I feel like I'm stuck in two separate worlds at the moment. One where I'm the normal average everyday me and the other where I get to do what I want and be crazy and not give a damn! It feels great but it also is unnerving. I don't know what I'm doing and I'm not sure I'm even thinking about it.

The problem is that the fun and crazy world is all too finite, a carefree attitude can only last as long as you are carefree. The world where you can do what you want when you want and not have to think about tomorrow. Where there's no such thing as tomorrow, just a everlasting string of right nows. But just as the dawn creeps slowly over the horizon turning night to day so does the realization that it's time to go and live in the real world again. Just as quickly as the fairy tale is created the clock strikes twelve and Cinders is back on her knees scrubbing in the grime. Does growing up mean growing out of living for the moment? does it mean we replace excitement with stability, Fun for Feasible and dare I say it passion for comfort?

Isn't it funny how life throws these curve balls?

8 Comments:

At 3:41 PM, Blogger frankengirl said...

Ah, such good questions! :)

Sometimes, I really miss my vagabond days, and I was pretty peeved at my friends for marrying (how dare they!). I wanted liberty; to fly free always!

But cozy comforts can be pleasant, too. Still, I never want to get too cozy. I never want to feel caged by my own complacency. For me, it’s a constant struggle to balance passion with peace. It’s not easy!

 
At 3:55 PM, Blogger Golgotha_Tramp said...

I just feel like I have an alter ego. She's running around doing all this fun stuff and I'm jealous because my "real" life is work, commuting, pushing a trolley around tescos grumbling to myself about children is supermarkets. I sit there and think, I went to bed at 4.30 last night after going clubbing. Me, on a school night and now I'm fighting for the last punnet of nectarines how sad.

I've become back to front almost. I spend my weekend in the kitchen cooking, preparing fancy meals and watching old movies singing along to my hearts content and during the week I'm going to student nights where it's £1.50 a bottle of Florescent booze and staggering into bed at god knows what time. I find I just bounce from one end of the spectrum to the other. But living the wild life is hard and I just worry that I will be old before my time, a forty year old in a twenty one year olds body

 
At 7:12 PM, Blogger MikeChau said...

Life is like a box of chocolates...

Couple of years ago that's what my life is all about...Just curve balls.

 
At 6:40 AM, Blogger OutInLeftField said...

I think you can have a balance of both...when you work, be your normal balanced self, but when you go out, go nuts. And especialy go crazy when your on vacation....thats te best time to party down! :)

 
At 3:30 PM, Blogger mysticgypsy said...

yeah..I wish I could be just ONE and the same instead splitting into parts, such as pretending things I don't feel in front of others or having to do mundane things that take time away from what I like doing.

 
At 9:09 PM, Blogger UltimateWriter said...

the not giving a damn phase is the most fun and the one you want to try to extend. you can carry that around all the time, it's bliss.

 
At 6:38 PM, Blogger The Poodle's Friend said...

Oh, I don't know. Perhaps I was born a sixty-year-old, but what can I say, I prefer the comfort to the passion. Doesn't the crazy get routine if you do it all the time? But comfort...comfort was routine in the first place. You expect it to be 'normal' and you're not disappointed when it turns out exactly like that: normal, average and everyday. And when you occasionally indulge in all-out partying, it's that much better.
Oh well. Enjoy the fun.
Children in supermarkets :D

 
At 5:10 PM, Blogger Charlie said...

I refer to myself as an extroverted introvert. Or vice versa, depending on my mood. I need people because I am a social animal, but I also need to be alone to succor my inner goofball.

The main thing I have to remember is that I am me. Not one of the masks I wear--like the office drudge or the maniac party animal.

Even if I am a cat.

 

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