The mind doodles of Golgotha_tramp

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Trade up or sell out?

I feel super bad as I haven't blogged for a while but things have been pretty hectic over here. I've just been spending a lot of time catching up with someone from my past. I suppose it's really easy to forget your obligations (whether imposed by others or by yourself) when you are having fun.

I feel like I'm stuck in two separate worlds at the moment. One where I'm the normal average everyday me and the other where I get to do what I want and be crazy and not give a damn! It feels great but it also is unnerving. I don't know what I'm doing and I'm not sure I'm even thinking about it.

The problem is that the fun and crazy world is all too finite, a carefree attitude can only last as long as you are carefree. The world where you can do what you want when you want and not have to think about tomorrow. Where there's no such thing as tomorrow, just a everlasting string of right nows. But just as the dawn creeps slowly over the horizon turning night to day so does the realization that it's time to go and live in the real world again. Just as quickly as the fairy tale is created the clock strikes twelve and Cinders is back on her knees scrubbing in the grime. Does growing up mean growing out of living for the moment? does it mean we replace excitement with stability, Fun for Feasible and dare I say it passion for comfort?

Isn't it funny how life throws these curve balls?

Monday, February 13, 2006

One Day Only : Love, devotion and a cheap box of chocs!

The Valentine bug is almost upon us. I can honestly say that although I am a hopeless romantic and there's nothing I like more them smooches and cuggles that Valentines day is pretty sickening.

I am all for romantic gestures, showing someone you care. My boyfriend and I often come home with a little something for the other 'just because' and It's sweet, it makes you happy that your partner is thinking of you. But to make a day where everybody in a relationship feel obliged to do it is stupid. There really is no meaning behind the 'gestures' that Valentines day generates. A over handled box of chocolates and slightly wilted roses, an all too predictable valentines card filled with the usual hallmark sentiment are the usual suspects but your beau may be feeling adventurous and go for the grand gesture....Dinner.

I have had the misfortune of being taken out to dinner Valentines day, let me put it sucked. My boyfriend of the time booked a table in a nice restaurant in London where that I had been hanging my nose over for a while, this little bistro boasted sweet secluded tables with delicate lighting and ambient enough to melt the hardest heart, so as you can imagine it had a price tag to break the biggest bank. I won't lie, I was amazingly chuffed to be told to get my glad rags on for an evening of culinary delights. But the thrill soon wore off, we may as well have gone to Macdonald's! The 20 or so tables and somehow bred filling the restaurant so full waiters were struggling to move between them, the place was as hot as a sauna and smelt just as bad and the beautiful soft music that used to play had been replaced with someone crooning heartbreak classics as 'you look wonderful tonight' and 'lady in red.' I was horrified! my little piece of heaven was officially hell!

Needless to say I have never gone out for Valentines since and I don't think I ever will. My Boyfriend and I have no intentions of doing anything out of the ordinary, We plan to spend the evening at home with dinner, wine and the sofa. Although I may let him pick the film, just this once.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Your Friend or mine?

After a recent experience I have realised that some people for whatever reason are very protective of friends.

Now I don't mean standing up for them if someone bad-mouths them or worrying that they will get hurt when they start dating a new man (we all do that) I mean want to keep them to themselves, never to share.

I found this very strange as I have never really been like this. To me a getting a new friend is like finding a cute new bag, next time I'm out with my friends I want to bring them along and show everyone how cute they are and I take great pleasure in someone telling me my new pal is nice. I spend my time telling new people "just wait until you meet so-and-so, they'll adore you I can tell" I love to think that the people I love the most love each other.

I was thinking about this more as tonight I am out with two of my friends, one who I have known for nearly two years and another who I have known for about a year. I got them talking together and they are now dating. I really enjoy the fact that two people I care about have found some joy with each other and enjoy them both as individuals and a couple. I sometimes wonder if I had been a protective friend would I be happy? Would I be bitter that my male friend wasn't desperately in love with me and not my female friend? Would I have been angry at my female friend for using me to get to some totty? would I be angry at them both for finding someone to bring joy to their lives other then me?

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

5 things Meme

Ultimate Blogger (linky on the right) has tagged me for the 5 Things Meme.

Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot, like so.

1) BrightStar
2) Seeking Solace
3) Kiss My Mike
4) Ultimate Writer
5) Golgotha_Tramp

Next select five people to tag:
1) Frankengirl
2) Miss Emerald ace
4) MysticGypsy
5) KevinShiu

What were you doing 10 years ago?
At school working super duper hard before I became disillusioned

What were you doing 1 year ago?
I just moved to Nottingham and was going out getting drunk most nights

Five snacks you enjoy:
1) Marshmallows
2) Ramen
3) nachos
4) Hob nobs
5) Loaded potato skins

Five songs to which you know all the lyrics:
1) Dope Show (Marilyn Manson)
2) Boy named Sue (Johnny Cash)
3) Weird Beard (Mad Caddies)
4) You'll bring honor to us all (Disney's Mulan)
5) Closer (Nine Inch Nails)

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:
1) Get a House (mortgage only)
2) Work for an animal shelter
3) Buy kick ass new wardrobe with matching shoes for every outfit
4) Take my B/F away traveling (especially Japan and Thailand)
5) Go on a catering course

Five bad habits:
1) criticizing peoples bad taste in films
2) criticizing people bad taste in music
3) Fussing over people
4) Eating chilies!!!!
5) Poking my B/F

Five things you like doing:
1) Poking my B/F (and not in a rude way)
2) Cooking
3) Dancing
4) Singing
5) staring out the window on the bus

Five things you would never wear again:
1) a romper (bit too old)
2) a silk shirt
3) a Ski suit
4) Doc Martins
5) any thing that's Tie-dyed

Five favorite toys:
1) My Pink Puffalump called Sophie
2) PS2
3) Poi
4) Twister
5) Jenga (esp. Giant Jenga)

The call centre.

'Can I help you?' in tones so dull
You'd almost think they're dead'
What's the reference number please,
Or use your name instead'

The mantra of the operative
who boast a huge degree
who didn't want an office job,
to conform like you and me

See them sneer at suits and ties
in Baggy jeans and belt
in mini skirts and stiletto heels
both thin and not-so svelte

What's with the animosity?
why be stubborn as a mule
why not agree to fix my screen
instead my rage you fuel

'Just do your job!' I yell at them
and still they do not budge.
I worked a there too, a year ago,
so why d'you hold a grudge?

I know the pay is really low
and the boredom is a killer
but the job has little skill
and is really just a filler

I just spent half an hour on the phone to the IT call centre in my office and it inspired me to write about my frustration. Why is it that there's always some surly person in a call centre that just wants to be difficult? then when you say that you want to raise a complaint they get all "oh no, there's no need for that. I can sort this out now for you." Why should I have to get arsey to get results?